Love did it.

As teenagers we seek freedom, but do we really become free  Today as I was driving down the road, I had that encounter that brought back so many memories of my teens.
Just like you thought, I stopped at the lights, and beside me, was a car full of teens; five of them, two girls in the front and two boys and a girl in the back seat. Minding my business, my head turned just as one of the boys in the back with the window rolled down was blowing a small pipe turned towards my car and waving. I took that as an invitation, and I rolled down my passenger window in response. With both their windows open, laughter was coming from both the front and the back of their car and they started talking to me, asking me where I was going and the like with the greatest simplicity and ease. The lights turned green and they drove off. As I rolled up my window, I caught all the writings on their car with hearts all over and in the back, with a beautiful calligraphy read "I love Sarah, she is my best friend." That finally confirmed my observations that what I had encountered was a company of friends who were enjoying each others company, and beyond that, they were also extending their joy to outsiders; and yes, I had been invited to taste that. The next five minutes as I drove, I couldn't help but feel joyous, but it also brought back both memories of my teenage, and memories of my conversion.
  Now to go back to my initial question, I think the problem is that as we grow older, we tend to stop living in the moment. We carry all the burdens of our past and all the anxieties of the future. This weighs us down and we miss the present moment which is where God is best to be encountered. We miss the opportunity to enjoy His company freely and hence we cannot be joyous.
   I remember when I was rediscovering my faith or may I say reverting back to Christ after a deadening lukewarmness. I so enjoyed His company that I could have spent hours in prayer. But just like those teenagers, I wanted to share that joy so much that I saw no boundary. Truly it was a company of friends. I would only say that "It was going back to my first love." Now if you have encountered that love of Christ, you can clearly relate. Best description of that love is in the canticles of canticles (8:6-7) "Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm; For stern as death is love,..." 
   When we don't foster that devotion to love, we loose it and sadly that is the state of many. After that encounter with those teenagers, I had to reflect on how I have lived that commitment or how I've by God's grace maintained it. My answer is again from the canticles of canticles (1: 7) "Tell me, you whom my heart loves, where you pasture your flock, where you give them rest at midday, Lest I be found wandering after the flocks of your companions." From the answer that follows in verse 8; "Follow the tracks of the flock and pasture the young ones near the shepherds' camps."  
  From this conversation in the songs of songs, I can only say that the way that joy has and can be maintained is to stay near the "shepherds camps" so as to be fed. With Christ as our Shepherd, He feeds us with His own body and blood in the Eucharist and if we stay in his camps (The Church), we never stop having that joy of companionship, friendship and love like I encountered this afternoon. But those teenagers didn't just enjoy their companionship, they extended it. That is what every Christian is called to do, having encountered the love of Christ, we must invite others to come in and with the words of prophet Jeremiah from God, to "taste and see how God is good."
  We can all rediscover that love of Christ which after having put us aflame, will demand that we share it and then "Our joy may be complete".   Finally like those teens, we can truly say " I love Jesus, He is my best friend."

Poetry for the soul: truth

"To be or not to be: that is the question." that is the opening line of a soliloquy of Shakespeare's play Hamlet. I can still remember my English teacher
and how she made this play come alive. If I can summarize, I would say that this play raised our emotions and imaginations to great heights. Fast forward a few years later, I  still enjoy that play. Lately however one of my friends mentioned something to me as I was driving her home from a prayer meeting which we had just left. We were discussing the songs and she was expressing how we needed a group that would be willing to practice regularly so as to deliver a better praise session. Before I asked why she was so passionate about it, she said "music raises our minds to God." She had explained in one sentence how exactly I felt after singing gospel songs or hymns; my mind would be elevated above the million distractions in the world and I would think of God and easily enter into prayer.
      So we've seen how good plays can raise our emotions and imaginations to great heights and how good singing can raise our minds to God. That brings me to my third love and that is poetry. Maybe you remember how you felt after you read your first poem, or maybe you even wrote a poem to the girl or boy you liked in junior high. Well I remember both. I can also say that poetry stole my heart. From the book of psalms to the songs of songs, we encounter the beauty of poetry, and we can say that good poetry penetrates our heart and help us to open our hearts to God if it points towards Him. From that, I wish to share a series of some of the poems I have written and I will start with one I wrote conversing with truth.

                                                                         truth

My heart can no longer deny you

I must embrace you for a better view

Day by day I arise from the dungeons of my misery

From fighting against you with a cold sweat I am weary

I have taken a sip of you but now what

Is it not enough for me to expel my doubt

Yet it seems that if I don't take the whole cup of you

You turn into poison that will destroy me but not you

A little bit of you has thrown my heart into chaos

I want your full benefits but without the vows

My yearning is great but who can move my afflicted heart

Which is stuck in the lies that I have lived

But fears the truth I have now found

The time is now my heart declares

To break the chains on my daily affairs

And embrace you whose name is truth

So my heart can be free at last

To follow Christ who is my very first

for future poems, tune in on Fridays.

Life after the prodigal son returns

"It's yet another night. I have exploited everything on television and I am feeling a little guilty".  That was the conversation that I would have with myself many nights a few years ago and still do sometimes even now. The only difference between then and now is what I would do next. No! I didn't take the remote and throw it at the television and swear not to do it again. I did something most people are familiar with; tune in to one of the channels where a very well spoken person would be preaching. Yes the televangelist. Everyone has their favorite, but at this time I seemed to listen to any. A couple of minutes later I would be praying for forgiveness and I would feel like the prodigal son. Yes truly that moment felt good being received back by my Father, but after a few days, the feeling would wear off, I would go off and then be back to the door knocking as the prodigal son. I had joined the "perpetual prodigal son's return club."  I had enjoyed the feelings of the reception so much that I wanted them to last. In reality, I wasn't so much concerned about what God wanted, as much as what I felt. In reality, I was after the gift more than the giver. After countless episodes like this, I soon realized that I had succeeded in self deception. Although I had stayed clear of despairing since I knew of God's mercy, I had probably crossed over to presumption, forgetting His justice.
  This was until one day I heard someone

Does anybody care about the truth?
   I remember like it was yesterday  praying unceasingly to God that he may not allow me to be deceived. I also remember the joy that I felt when that prayer was answered to me in a very special way. I was at a point where so many voices were speaking to me and I simply couldn't discern which one to listen to. In the midst of this darkness, the Lord made known to me that he was the answer, and ever since He has shown me the path. Ever since I can trust what He speaks through His Church and those he left in His place. Its a challenge to accept the truth sometimes because it makes demands of us but the freedom that accompanies it is worth it.  Now the more I try to share it, the more I learn that few people want to embrace it. But do people care about the truth?
   Today I was pondering about this and I have come to the conclusion that many people don't want to know the truth. Many would rather remain in the company of lies than even take a glimpse of the truth. Its almost true to all that if asked, we would proclaim that we are lovers of truth, but once it's presented to us, we reject it immediately without giving it a chance and even close our ears so that we may not hear it, or like Jesus put it "listening they do not hear." As St. Thomas Aquinas put it, "the first reaction to truth is anger."  Oh how true this is. I can relate to this in a most personal way for I know that most often, when I hear some truth, it challenges me to change and this at first will cause us to be angry. Now the reason for this is that truth always challenges us to change for the better, and we all know that this is not a walk in the park. It is this same thing that caused Our Lord to be crucified. He spoke the truth to his contemporaries, and rather than change their ways, they wanted to get rid of him. He came to set them free and give them light, but many "preferred darkness than light." Its through His crucifixion that we have been set free but, even 2000 yrs later, many still prefer darkness other than the light, lies over truth and bondage over freedom. Jesus told his disciples that "My people die for the lack of knowledge."  Now more than ever we need knowledge and truth. St. Paul says that "the Church is the pillar and foundation of truth" (1 Timothy 3:15 ) so we need to remain in this pillar, or we will fall prey to the devil who is like "the roaring lion seeking whom he may devour".   Let us pray that we may not be deceived, and Our Lord is good to grant this who is our true Shepherd who loves his flock.

What's this?

     Six years ago, I thought I knew everything there was to know. Now I am 24yrs and I've come with terms with how very little I know. I have to confess that at 17, I thought I knew everything. I won't even start going through all the different fields like science, math, astronomy, theology and philosophy or the other numerous fields out there, each with its own experts. But that's not why I decided to start a blog. My reason is simply; TRUTH The more I wanted to know, the more I became concerned with that simple word. I, like many young people had ambitions beyond description. I simply wanted to be the best. The problem I ran into is that what one person would describe as best, another wouldn't. My best may not be your best. So a problem for me was what then should I aspire to be the best in? I was open and had many great people in my life who spoke towards that same thing. 
    After a restlessness that couldn't be overcome with anything, I found myself on a Wednesday evening in a Catholic Church. I was met by a lady in the hall who seemed very peaceful and I proceeded to ask her what was going on inside. After she asked me whether I was a Catholic, she explained that they were having adoration, and although I had been raised a Catholic, I wasn't sure what that was. When I entered however, I remembered having seen something like that in my growing up, where inside a most beautiful golden monstrance, they had Jesus exposed in the sacrament. Without much understanding, I knelt in imitation of the other people there and started praying. For the first time in a long time, I felt not only the greatest peace, but I also felt a certain surety that I had entered into the presence of God. Ever since that day, I couldn't stop going back Wednesday after Wednesday. I felt a certain pull towards what I had come across that evening. Now a few years later, I understand more what had started that Wednesday evening. I had met Jesus that evening but in a very special way. But what did that mean?